Vote for Our Bloke, Even Though He Is Already In!

Oh, dear, I am so confused, because my party is making a terrible cock-up, and I am always sticking up for them publicly, and, so, everyone is going to think, I am an idiot, too, when it is not really my fault, only I don't want to quit, or else, I shall just be a nobody, instead of a Member Of The Party, and then who will listen to me?

We are going to put a candidate up, for the by-election, which is what parties are supposed to do, only we are putting a member we have already got up, so we look really stupid, and I don't know how to doctor the spin, so we look clever, instead, and so we are getting ripped on the internet, instead of getting lots of pledges of support , like the other candidates.

All we want to do is, make sure that nasty, rude man, who is seeking re-election, doesn't get back in, because he wants to be the leader of the opposition, but so does our bloke, and he is one of us, and he works harder, too. It is all the rude man's fault, because he shouldn't have put himself up for re-election anyway. It was teasing, to make a vacancy, and then, say he was going to go for getting his job back ,when we were already plotting to snatch his seat for ourselves.

Anyway, I want everybody to vote for our bloke, so we get rid of the rude man, and, then, we can have another by-election, with a proper candidate, like we should have had in the first place.

I'm Nearly Famous

Well, I have had an exciting start to the New Year: We have had a spot of bother, over the local branch, of a famous chain-store, sacking all their workers, without paying them off properly, and so, my friends Pink Andy, and Red Jeff the champagne socialist have both started campaigns to get them looked after, by our government, because it is their fault that it isn't illegal to treat workers like that, here.

Anyway, Andy has let me help his campaign, and so, I have been the frontman doing all the interviews, not having any reputation to lose, by making a fool of myself, and so getting lots of lovely publicity ready to run for election next time, seeing how the Party didn't bother to use me, last time, for some reason. The stuff they told me to say actually makes sense, too, all about how we ought to be ashamed of not having the same kind of worker protection as everywhere else, and that we should change the law before the banks start going down, too, and we should make sure the shop workers get what they should have had, and so I didn't get Paxoed, but the TV and radio people let me explain, instead.

Christians

The thing about Conservatives, is, that they are not only capitalists, but they are , also, Christians, mostly, as well, and, instead of just attacking them over hard-to-understand stuff, like finance, we should be attacking their religion, too, because it all comes down to the Divine Right of Kings, and if we can make it official that God does not really exist, then Kings and Queens don't have any Divine Right to rule us anymore, and nor do the Bailiff and Ministers on their behalf, and so we can have some constitutional reform. I know constitutional reform would be a good thing, because my friend Slick Nick told me, and he went to a very posh school, and university, too, and he understands difficult things like that, even if I don't always understand the way he explains them, with lots of big words.

So I am going to start a campaign for atheists to have equal rights to Christians; after all it is obvious that the universe must have just created itself, so why would it have needed a god to do it? If, I keep claiming that , not believing is just as much of a religion as believing, then maybe I can undermine the privileged place, Christians claim, as the watchdogs of our public morals, after all, Jesus said, give unto Caesar what is Caesar's ,and our whole finance industry is about helping rich capitalists, with more than I am ever likely to get, duck out of doing that, so, maybe, I can nail them all as a bunch of hypocrites.

Traffic confusion

What a mess we are getting into with our local government's plans to dig up the principal main road, through our capital, build some office blocks on top of it, and then dig a tunnel for the road to go back through, but not have any parking for the office blocks, so that the traffic will have to carry on into town, anyway.

Of course, by the time it is all finished, petrol will be too expensive, for ordinary commuters to use, so, everybody will be on buses or bicycles. I need to ask my friends if, anyone has any ideas, about how we could introduce a decent bus service. The future will have to be green, but, some of the details, about how to make it so are a bit difficult to work out, so, those of us, who want an end to the present rotten government, need to get together with intellectuals who can understand these things.

Consultants

It is outrageous, how our local politicians are squandering the poor taxpayers' money on monstrously expensive consultants, to tell them how to bring in schemes, that never seem to work properly, anyway, but they keep on doing it, so that, they can get “expert opinions” to the effect that, things that, everybody knows are plain stupid could be done after all. And, then, they tell us, not to blame them, when it all turns out pear-shaped, because it was the consultants' advice that, persuaded them to do it.

I shall have to talk to my fellow malcontents, at our next meeting, and see if any of the intellectual ones have any ideas for how, we could do better, so that, I will not need to hire lots of expensive experts when I am a politician.

Hello

Hello, everybody, I am Steve Sheffield, the anti-establishment political activist, and I have decided that, I ought to have a blog, too, because everybody else seems to have one, these days, even clowns like our local politicians, who all seem to get elected without having any talent or experience, which has given me a good idea, because seeing how I have not got any either, if I could get elected, too I would earn lots more money, than in my present dead-end occupation.

Therefore, whenever any malcontents band together to protest about the state of things around here, I like to jump on their bandwagon too, as it helps to make me look more important when I write, or even make speeches, about things, if I can be billed as the chairman of this or the secretary of that, and, moreover, I get to meet real anti-establishment politicians, with ideas and knowledge, who could tell me what to do, if I could manage to get elected.